What kind of relationship are we having when we don’t even know what’s going on in each other’s life. When you don’t tell me anything at all, or update me, and days go by and i don’t even know anything at all about you. we’re like strangers as soon as we’re not within 1 mile away from each other, or just within sight. is it just physical or what?
wondering if anything was ever real. the way i see it now i have two choices, to stay and always know that in his heart, i’m not the one in the throne, but the one waving in the bleachers, or to leave and move on, hoping to find someone who’ll treasure me.
You keep getting angry at me because “Why can’t you fucking trust me that I love you and I don’t want to lose you? Why can’t you fucking trust your boyfriend?” Well how can i trust you when you told me that you’d rather lose gf than close friends? You expect me to trust you that you love me, would do anything for me, when I already know you’d drop me for a friend? For you it doesn’t matter and has no relevance because ‘the situation when I have to choose between you two will never come” but you have no idea what this means to me. Why should I stay for someone who doesn’t place me first? How am I supposed to love him unconditionally if friendship means more to him? If family means more to you. I can’t say much. Not like we’re married. But we’re in a relationship and you tell me friends are more precious than me. Then you say we’re special in our different ways and cannot compare your love for both me and friends cause it’s different thing. Well. I seriously don’t know what to feel. If I mean so little to you. How can you expect me to trust you?
And I can already see your response in my head - You’d say
“I do love you. Why don’t you get it? You’re important to me kay? Why can’t you just trust me?”
Well. Yes, I am important to you, BUT not as important as others.
You need to set your priorities straight. Or maybe you should look for a girl who wouldn’t care about this. I gave you a choice. You made it. Friends over me.
I don’t even wana see you anymore. How can I face you now when I know how capable you are of hurting me? All that i can remember about us is the words you’ve thrown at me and the pain I feel. But it’s alright. I realised i can live without you.
Air is often seen as a universal power or pure substance. Its supposed fundamental importance to life can be seen in words such as aspire, inspire, perspire and spirit, all derived from the Latin spirare.
People born under the astrological signs of Gemini, Libra and Aquarius are thought to have dominant air personalities. Air personalities tend to be kind, intellectual, communicative, social and helpful. However, they can also be cold, superficial, vicious and very insensitive to other people’s emotions.
Air is one of the five elements that appear in most Wiccan and Pagan traditions. Wicca in particular was influenced by the Golden Dawn system of magic, and Aleister Crowley’s mysticism, which was in turn inspired by the Golden Dawn. Common Wiccan attributions include:
- Cardinal direction: East
- Season: Spring
- Time of life: Childhood
- Time of day: Sunrise
- Regent Planet: Mercury
- Elemental being: Sylph
- Colors: Yellow and white
- Magical tools: Sword
- Tarot reading: Wands or Swords in the Minor Arcana. Swords are traditionally associated with air and still are in most tarot decks, however, increasingly decks are being published with the Wands association. This is still a matter of debate within the esoteric and Wiccan community.
- Altar tool: Incense
- Masculine energy
- Other: Correspondences include mind, intellect, consciousness, study, communication and beginnings.
I have nothing to say anymore.
I don’t know what we are doing now. Is this a break? Because it feels like one.
When was the last time you called me without me asking you to? When was the last time we had a nice meal together? When was the last time you asked me out instead of a oh-we-finished-college-so-chun-chun-go-walk-around thing? When was the last time we had some time together just the two of us? When was the last time you had time for me, and we just sat down and had a nice long talk?
It’s beginning to feel like I have lost my voice because I have no one to talk to anymore.
Do you know how many tears I am shedding every day? Do you know that I’m crying as I’m typing this now? Do you know how lonely and abandoned I feel?
Excuses you tell to me. Telling me you don’t want to call me because you’re scared we’ll fight. Telling me you’re tired, you need to rest, when before this, being with me was so much more important. Remember your short sweet story to me about how when your ex was sick, you stayed up the night for her? What about me? Why are you always TIRED? And you’d blame me for keeping you awake. Blame me with your snide comments on how you didn’t sleep last night because you were on the phone with me.
Why are you with me? Just for my body? I don’t get it. You’re never interested in what I say anymore, you never respond to what I say except smile or laugh or say “LOL”. Classic signs of losing interest. Do you take me for a fool? I can see how everything is rolling out.
And those days when I do leave you to be alone, it’s not like you actually sleep early. It’s just excuses. To avoid me.
I’ve never quite felt so empty before.
It was a huge mistake getting involved with anyone at this age.
