May 2012
6 posts
I know I should not dig up old bombs. But I can’t help but feel upset at some things I recently unearthed.
Firstly, you tell people that you don’t give no fuck about me and you are only upset that I’m dating your friend. Okay. But you come tell me how I’m a slut for getting over you when you still secret feelings for me. But of course, you broke with me first. When I...
I’ve been quite stressed about finals lately, and i’m very unmotivated to study and i can feel myself gaining weight so i’m worried that i will start another binge-eating-purging phase which hasn’t happened in the last 6 months . I’m not bullimic on a regular basis but there are perhaps phases in which i throw up once a week and i don’t want to go back to that...
sometimes i still think about you. of course, it’s impossible to totally forget. i no longer wake up thinking of you, but at times i still have flashbacks of you, like when i remember all the clothes that we bought together that i still wear and when i think about handhugs and jokes that you introduced. or how i used to rub your neck whenever you were driving to the point you started...
I'm glad you're feeling happier, and going out...
April 2012
28 posts
there'll always be someplace in my heart for you,...
Admittance.
confession: i’m more upset than i show.
i know you think breaking up with me was a great favour and that the pain i felt was better than in the long term but honestly did you wonder why you are the one who keeps hurting me yet I stayed on? Because I loved you and had faith that we could make it all work. but you gave up on us, you had faith in the beginning when our love was fresh but then after difficulties you decided to throw it all...
you twist everything i say but no, i don’t want to fight back. I use smileys to decrease tension, you say I’m not serious. I apologise, and you say it’s not sincere and won’t accept it, which is what I did that made you angry in the first place. You ask me to reflect and think about my own ego and how all I want is for you to be at my mercy. You’re wrong. Yes, I do...
you are the only one who can't see I care. not...
Overthinking
He makes me happy, he really does.
But at the same time, I have doubts. Of course I do. Do we know each other well enough? Do we have enough in common? Are we suited to be more than friends? Do I want to risk getting hurt again so fast after I just healed?
I’m also wondering if I’m just in love with the idea of being in love. I just broke up a few months back. My emotions are still...
He started taking advantage of me the day I told...
Hearing your problems reminds me of how much pain there is in the world. How come someone can make you so happy when you make them so angry? How can you cry so much over someone but they are so fine without you? Sometimes, caring doesn’t mean wanting to be together.
When we broke up, he stopped texting me and avoided me and tried to stop spending any time with me. I appreciate that now....
Today we talked in front of my friends. At least,...
seeing a friend who's in the same situation as i...
what i'd give, for just one more last day with...
I know its not healthy what I’ve been doing. Even when I’m out, I anticipate going home and doing it. I store every pain and wait to release it on myself when I’m alone.
Honestly, I feel empty. Maybe I’m just too dependent. Dependent on that hand to hold, that hug, that comforting word. I know you’re having fun in your life with your friends. I am trying to do the...
been a long time since I came home happy and...
Does life has meaning?
Haha, I'm a Joke.
Sometimes I want to laugh at myself. I don’t know how much longer I can stand this before I break. I’m like two separate people, living two separate lives, with two separate personalities. When I’m with people, I’m acting out the motions, I’m “normal”, I’m “me”. But who is the real me? LOL such a cliche question.
What’s more funny...
There is one thing I value more than life itself, and one thing that anchors me still. Whenever I feel like I can’t take it anymore, it holds me here. It’s my sense of responsibility. It defines me, it’s the only thing I feel has true meaning. Because people change, but achievements remain achievements. For those who say I am an attention seeker then maybe this is the attention I...
added only 5 today. it wasn’t as bad a day as yesterday i guess. this is keeping me sane.
Stop thinking you are different from other guys...
Russell Brand is no longer upset about Katy:
He implied he now feels indifference, adding: ‘I don’t have to let anything go. I don’t hold on to anything negative. It’s the same as zero-ness.
‘It’s not about letting it go. You can’t let go of something you don’t hold, you know. It’s meaningless… And I don’t do that...
“Added 16 of them today. It’s becoming quite a collection. Even one small...”
Spooning till sunset. That awkward but sweet first...
“I still do it to myself. I have no idea why I hate myself so much. I...”
I never learned how to let go. I only know how to...
“angry at myself and self-destructive.”
it stings like a bitch. but the feeling is better...
provides a temporary relief from intense feelings of pain and self-loathing. a way to manage and control pain.
what i don’t understand is how you can be so cruel. to treat me with disgust after i pour to you my deepest secrets.
I counted 25 of them. I still don't know why I do...
You say you are different. You might think that...
I’ve come to realise that even the closest friends will judge you. When you’re down you expect to get all the support you can get. But instead, people turn on me. “I hate emo people” “get a life and stop going on with your problems when everyone has problems” “you’re weak” “let’s stay away from an attention seeker like you”...
You used to tell me I was beautiful. After you...
But of course I’m sure she’s more beautiful than I will ever be. Life’s a bitch and I choose to not be a part of it anymore
March 2012
167 posts
A pen. A screwdriver. A ruler. In desperation...
even in my darkest moment, you still want to yell...
all I want to do is die right now.. it's not like...
I've planned this for a long time, and nothing's...
I’m tired. And I’m sorry to disappoint everyone who cares about me. Please understand.
Love,
Ena
everytime i think of you, i feel like i want to...
which is why i’m trying my best to surround myself with people tonight. it’s saturday tomorrow and i’m scared no one will notice if i don’t wake up tomorrow
Everytime I hurt myself, I imagine I’m hurting your little bitch. I hope you’re having fun in your life while I destroy mine. I can choose to stick around or disappear whenever I want
as if you'd care if anything happened to me, we're...
would just like to cuddle and kiss in bed all day...
Untitled: Introduction. →
mutilatedmonster:
I made this account in an attempt to heal myself. I will be starting treatment for self harm and depression ( possible borderline personality) in the fall, and I thought this would be a good step forward. Im sixteen years old and I have been self harming for as long as I can remember. The cutting…
“sometimes the only salvation for pain is for another type of pain”
my scars make me happy
I just don’t want to do life anymore. I’ve lost interest.
I miss those times when you cupped my chin in your...
each day the cuts get deeper.
Do you know that after you left, I cry myself to...
“so tiring to be happy and bright all the time. can’t stand awkward...”